I was not allowed to be pretty. She would put me down or make me wear clothes that didn't fit properly. If we were appearing in public together I was a reflection on her so she'd encourage me to look nice. Her compliments were backhanded or outright passive aggressive like "You want to go out looking like THAT?"
It hurts when you believe that your accomplishments don't matter. Narcissistic Mothers cannot step outside their own egos long enough to genuinely celebrate anybody else's successes. Their children's successes only matter if they can take credit for them somehow.
Narcissistic personality disorder is very real and very painful. To be raised by a narcissistic mother is to exist only as an extension of her. I would only be praised if it was somehow a reflection of her. Any compliments paid to me in front of her were immediately deflected to her.
I was silenced, shamed, manipulated, and simultaneously made to be utterly dependent on her.
Was she 100% bad? No. There are good things about her too, but those good things didn't nurture me in a way that made up for the pain and shame of my childhood.
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Lisa shares her painful, personal struggle as a 400 pound woman as she battles addiction and the agony of morbid obesity. She shows us with humor and raw, tragic honesty how she lost more than just the weight and recovered from gastric bypass after a lifetime of being bullied.
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